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This past weekend I gave myself the gift of death. For a few days, I gave up the future, all notions of a “future” – faced with working on a “life plan” I found that I just couldn’t (or wouldn’t) scribe any notion of the future, even a year out. I discovered something – having a future is to live in a mild state of sadness.

I’ve never had a future that manifested as envisioned – it was always different, and sometimes presented pleasures previously unimagined – and pain previously never experienced. But it’s always the same: What time is it? Now Where are you? Here.

And the past? – Like tags in a blog, recalling the past is 100% inaccurate to what was actually lived, experienced. The past and the future are used by the conscious mind to maintain firm, absolute control over our Identity. And it doesn’t matter if our identity was built by chance (situations, circumstances, opinions of others) or on purpose. There is a code, a master program that is running our life and dictating the experiences we are having and that determines the meanings we place on those experiences.

So, I gave myself a gift this weekend – I decided to forget about the future and instead focused on one question: “If I can be anyone, anything, who would I be?” I’m still working on this answer, but in asking the question I gained a sense of freedom I haven’t ever experienced as an adult. With no future, I’m forced to really see and live in the present. And believe me when I tell you there are things in the present which are less than desirable-no surprise there.

The surprise was seeing quite a few things that are actually pretty amazing – These things have been around me all this time, but in seeing the present vs living in imagination, it was like a fog lifted and the things in my life that give me joy pleasure suddenly “popped” into my awareness. I rediscovered the beauty of the persian art I have on my walls – paintings I haven’t really looked at – or even acknowledge for 5 years now; photo books from trips I’ve made to Africa, Canada and St. Thomas; a pretty substantial library filled with books on healing, psychology, personal development and believe it or not poetry.

It was like a blindfold was ripped off my eyes and I could see all of this great “wealth” that surrounds me.

It’s clear that as I gain clarity in my life and face and embrace the present moment, the Universe in return is determined to reveal the abundance that already surrounds me…

My life plan will reveal itself to me, when I finish answering the question: If I can be anyone, anything, who would I be?

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Massive changes. Social upheaval. Volatility. Unpredictability.

For me, the year was in keeping with the spirit of the tiger. The first six months felt like a decade of living. Thriving (or for some struggling) with chance and unpredictability, the year was a whirlwind. In my case, it was the storm before the calm…

 


I began the year as I ended the last- in a contemplative state.

From the holidays, my sense of 2010 was that I would continue to be tested and that I would have to take real action on the decisions that I made in the last days and hours of 2009.


The core decisions were as follows:

 

  • “I have all that I need within my reach, if only I have the courage to see it.”
  • “My path is the path of the entrepreneur and not as an employee.”
  • “To benefit from the abundance that already surrounds me, I have to focus on being charitable – giving when seemingly having nothing to give.”
  • “To have a future I’m going to want to have, I must concentrate all my energies to the present.”
  • “Uncertainty is the price everyone must pay to create the live desired-no exceptions.”


These five statements are the core things – they are part of the driving force I’ve chosen to immerse myself in.


The Results

“I have all that I need within my reach, if only I have the courage to see it.”

“My path is the path of the entrepreneur …”



In May, I took the mask off, accepted that the only clothes to wear are clothes of an entrepreneur, and launched The Lazarus Group (www.lazarusgroup.net).

 

Once I did this, everything came into alignment it seems. This was when everything came

together – It was like the universe was waiting for me to snap out of it and to recognize that the world

is configured to recognize my value as an entrepreneur.

 

An 18-month “investment” finally pays off: The “investment” being my time…

18 months ago, I was introduced to a person (a serial entrepreneur and ex-Investment banker) who a mutual friend thought would be beneficial to us both. During these 18 months, we’ve held a series of discussions (about 100 hours worth in total) resulting in establishing a consulting firm focused on NGOs contracts with two Middle Eastern countries and the forming of a venture capital group.


This, coupled with The Lazarus Group, I expect I will be investing 10-15 years of my life to these initiatives and will be able to retire well as a result. My new motto: 2 or more income streams for the rest of my life…


My Health

The last 2 years has taken a toll on both the mind and the body.  I had just come through a summer where I had almost died. Since then, my health has steadily improved and while it seems to me like a very long journey, I realize that many people have taken longer – or haven’t been able to “come back” at all.


As such, I’m grateful that (a) I’m still among the living and (b) that I have the kind of health situation that one can recover from. It’s true what they say – living requires energy and energy comes from one’s vitality. The past two years could have been far less complicated had I possessed greater vitality. Much of this time, I relied on mental discipline and will power, and often it wasn’t enough.


There’s no getting around having good health and being in poor health produced the greatest risk for me…

 

Getting My House in order

I’m treating this year as a year to being reborn. The last 2 years symbolize a great purging – a “reset” if you will. Asking the wisest of us to sit down and reassess everything. To reaffirm or discard as necessary to get at “the truth.” That truth that evokes the very best of who we are and who we can and should become. This year, for me truly has been a year to reaffirm and start anew.


For those of you going through a similar journey, I encourage you to get on the other side of any fear you may have and embrace it. This period of uncertainty could be the storm before the calm and is simply the price one must pay to invoke the transformation that all of us must experience before enlightenment.

 

Namaste,


Chris

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